LENS has generally been a positive experience for me. It has helped me advance on my journey to recovery. I experienced some childhood trauma that had led to depression, anxiety, and OCD. I also have an ADHD diagnosis.
Part of my “issue” has been intense repetitive thoughts that would never leave me alone. These thoughts would occur day and night. They would come up at any given time and often without any noticeable trigger. The triggers appeared to be in my head, and I could not get away from them. They were like a cancer slowly eating me away from the inside. These were so intense and frequent that, in the past, I had contemplated suicide and even had a plan.
All of this has had a dramatic impact on my marriage and my ability to be a father to my kids.
I would often withdraw and disengage as a means to protect myself.
I was prone to become extremely rageful with little to no provocation.
I hated being in crowded places and would continually look for the danger everywhere I went.
I had little understanding of my own emotions other than anger and happiness.
I have dealt with all of this all while being an elementary school teacher, coach, and a respected member of my community. Not one person would know anything that was happening unless I let them in. I have been lucky to have an extremely supportive wife who has grown with me on this journey.
With all of this, Yvette and I have done some intense work through counseling. We have done CBT, DBT, EMDR, and others. I am also on medication (which has its own set of ups and downs). There have been many times that I have been ready to give it all up and just say f*^k it.
I’m a very skeptical person as I also have some trust issues, so doing anything at first makes me leery. LENS was no different. I wasn’t exactly sure how hooking me to some wires was going to do anything. So, I spent some time doing my own research and found generally good reviews and positive experiences. After doing my research and talking with Yvette I agreed to do the LENS.
My experience has been generally positive so far. For me, each time I have a session, I do get some pressure in my head afterwards. Sometimes this occurs immediately after and other times it doesn’t appear until a couple hours later. It is nothing that hurts, it’s just there. A positive for me is that it does appear to calm me, and we are able to work through the rest of a counseling session in a calm state. This has helped me be able to continue to keep pushing forward.
I also have become less reactive and I’m able to get myself regulated much quicker than before. I still can go from zero to sixty pretty quickly, but it has happened with much less frequency since starting LENS. I’m also able to come out of it quicker. Something that used to take days to come down from now only takes minutes to hours. This has been a drastic improvement and has helped my relationship with my wife as we are able to communicate much more effectively.
I also have a greater sense of hope that I can, and will, keep improving and beat this demon and leave my dark passenger — hopefully there are some Dexter fans that get that reference — behind. To me LENS is completely worth it, as I see daily the improvements it’s making in my life. I still have things to work on, but something about doing the LENS makes it seem possible to achieve my goals and live the kind of life I want to live. I am a straight shooter and will tell people like it is and LENS has been effective for me.